If I can keep it to $250 (for my two little brothers, my fiance, and my dad) for the reamaining Christmas gifts, I'll be very happy.
Anyways, I wanted to step away from the whole "spending" thing. It gets old after awhile (maybe it's because I blew December so hard so early that I feel discouraged).
I had some simple questions asked to me recently that I've been thinking on and off about...
If money were a completely non-issue for you, what would you do?
The question is not "If you won the lottery what would you spend it on?". The idea is to get behind what you truly enjoy doing, what you are passionate about. This led me to realize I have no hobbies outside of work, family, and friends. I thought long and hard and I realize I don't even know what I like anymore. I used to draw throughout elementary and high school, but that stopped shortly after 10th grade. I seemed to have 'lost inspiration'
Some things I like (let's brainstorm):
- I enjoy reading, especially about China. I also like reading a good book in general if I find one.
- I like researching the product until I find perfection, but I think this is just my OCD speaking out in a different form (shopping related)
- I like buying things at good deals, or even at not great deals if I really like the product (shopping again...)
- I like decor and finding nice things for the condo (again, linked to shopping)
- I strangely like tracking my finances like crazy (as evidenced by the starting posts) at times, but then fall short when I start to move off track...
- Can't really think of many things I like to do... everything is OK or not bad, but I don't love doing many things... love, passion-- these are strong words. Maybe let's move on to another question.
Are you happy now?
The short answer should be yes. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a super handsome fiance who loves me like crazy and makes me laugh and feel comfort and supported. I live in a beautiful condo that we just moved into which is wonderful. I have family really close by that I love and am close with. I have great friends that I love spending time with. I struggle with finances and I don't feel like I am where I should be financially. The only reason we're able to live here is because of a substantial gift/loan from my parents that is optionally returnable. If it wasn't, my fiance and I would be drowning.
I believe the job is excellent for experience, but I don't think I am at my full potential. I am not sure, however, if I would be happier at another job anyway. I don't know whether or not I should pursue an MBA and pick up to live elsewhere. My fiance and I had always planned to go live in China or Hong Kong for a bit before settling back down in North America. I'm 25 now but the clock is ticking. I'm not even sure I want or need an MBA so I haven't been able to study for it because not knowing my goal makes me lack motivation.
Wow. Writing this has made me realize I'm actually happy with everything except what's related with my career and money. At least that's clear.
Would you be happy with less?
I have a mantra that I wrote on my closet a year ago that I look back at and think of often. It says, "Less is More". It's a simple enough phrase that I'm sure you've heard many times over. I put that mantra up to stop myself from buying more clothes that were causing my closets to overflow.
Honestly, a bunch of stuff that I didn't even wear anymore became burdensome because I thought to myself, "Well I can't get rid of this, it's basically new!" but I would never wear it because I found something else in my closet that I would rather wear. It's the same with the makeup I bought but never got to, or the books I planned on reading later but haven't.
I have to be careful now if I'm doing the same in the house. Right now there are indeed a lot of things one would say we "need" but actually we've been living in the house for 2 months now. If we haven't needed it yet, perhaps we don't need it at all. But this does not answer my question: would I be happy with less? Overall, probably once we have everything we need (and what we need I still question), I know I will still want to buy new things. I will see something cute in a store and want to bring it home. Little things I purchase do make me happy in some ways, I realize. I do enjoy small material pleasures. I love product (and usually it's the best product that I get most excited about). I always have. I'm not sure if I can cut down to bare bare essentials. Maybe that's OK? Still must be within reason...
But less... less in a grander scheme, what does this mean? Does this mean we don't go on trips around the world? I still want those. Does less mean we don't live in a gorgeous house? Maybe I can do without, even though I came from one. Does less mean we can't send our kids to the best schools when the time comes? I don't want to do without that either. I want to be able to give our children a rich youth which makes them curious to discover things around them, and to discover themselves.
These questions have been making me think... writing it out helps. It makes me more clear on where I stand. I may come back with more. I feel like there were others floating around my head...
